So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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