i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
