whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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