WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
