Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
