He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
