When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
please come you make the beer taste better
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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