i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
you never un-have a 4some
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
