I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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