I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
