I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
