everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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