She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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