she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
