Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
