funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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