i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
