Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
