and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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