So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
