your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
