her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
