Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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