Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
did you just send me my own nude
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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