I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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