Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
