Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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