i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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