Don't you send me to vm
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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