Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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