you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
