So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
