I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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