He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
