I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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