were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
