i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
