waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
