that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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