At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
