I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
