please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
