OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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