but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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