Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
