areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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