were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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