yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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