Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
