I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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