is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
