Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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