Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
