what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
