listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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