I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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