She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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