Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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