I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
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